Supporting Your Spouse through the Transition

Military to Civilian Life and Beyond

Every year over 250,000 people leave the military and begin their transition into civilian life. This transition is said to be one of the most challenging tasks associated with being in the military, resulting in emotions ranging from stress to the fear of the unknown. To combat these emotions it is important that military spouses remain supportive by encouraging an ultimate family goal, becoming familiar with the military transition process, listening to your spouses concerns and helping your spouse learn about the civilian workforce.

On that beautiful day you said “I do” to your military husband or wife, you said “I do” to the military too. Whether you realize it or not, you are the backbone of the military family unit. Your military spouse will need your support throughout this transition.

One of your most important jobs as a military spouse is to encourage your partner to communicate their goals. Open the lines of communication by talking to your spouse about what you want from the military transition, including your goals, fears and expectations. Have your spouse reciprocate their goals and together combine them into a common goal for the family. Once a common goal is obtained, both of you will know what to expect and how each step of the transition process is lining up with your final goal.

The next step for a military spouse is to learn about the transition process. Each branch of the military offers transition briefings that cover everything from retirement eligibility to civilian health care options. Attending these briefings, in combination with the knowledge of programs that can be obtained from The United States Department of Defense, will help you maximize the transition benefits your family receives.

It is common for the transition from the military to a civilian lifestyle to cause anxiety, but listening to your spouse’s fears and concerns can help them through this emotional time in their life. During this transition, which can last up to two years, your spouse may possibly exhibit signs of career abandonment. Signs of career abandonment can be depression, anxiety or even anger. Listen closely to your spouse’s feelings, be encouraging and try to redirect their feelings onto another task. Many military spouses help their significant others cope with their fears of career abandonment by presenting activities such as community service and household responsibilities to keep them occupied.

One of the biggest hurdles involved with the military transition process is finding a new career. “Planning for your next career is more important than any project you might take on and should be treated as such, “said Marv Harris, retired Air Force Officer and spokesman for the Retired Officers Association.

The civilian world can provide great opportunities, but also may present many obstacles from writing a resume to translating military rank. Editing your spouses resume, finding jobs that your spouse is qualified for and engaging in mock interviews are all ways to help your spouse find a successful civilian career.